Perfect the Perfection
by xxblankcanvas
Summary: She's probably tired from trying to perfect what is already perfect' he thought sadly. What happens when someone makes Rory doubt herself? Will she transform into a perfectionist? Summary sucks. Better than it sounds.Pairing comes later.r&r.
1. Intro: How it all Began

**AN: I know, I know, another story?! Yeah, well, this idea just kinda came to me. I forgot it once and didnt want to forget it again. Oh, I can feel it now. This is gonna be a good one for me to write. I'm not really gonna place this in a season from the show. I'll just say that Rory is in her junior year and it's about mid-winter almost spring time. Almost everything else is the same but some stuff might change.**

**Summary: **'She's probably tired from trying to perfect what is already perfect' he thought sadly. What happens when someone makes Rory doubt herself? Will she transform into a perfectionist? Summary sucks. Pairing comes later. RandR.

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_'I'm just...not attracted to you anymore'_

The words rang through her mind as she stared at herself in the mirror. Not attracted to her anymore? She was no longer attractive? What was wrong with her?

Those were some questions, among many others, that littered her mind. Was she too fat? Was she having skin problems? Was her care for her appearance just withering away? Was she beginning to look more sloppy? She didn't know for sure. As she stared at herself in the mirror all she saw was a beautiful girl. Creamy, porcelain skin, long and wavy chocolate-colored hair, and piercing blue eyes. She had never been overweight, infact, she had always been a few pounds underweight, despite her diet. So what was wrong with her? What made her seem unattractive? She couldn't find it in her appearance. She didn't want to sound conceited, but she knew she was pretty. She had been raised around comments such as 'What a pretty little girl'.

So why had he said such awful things to her?

So, here she stood, single. Her first boyfriend having dumped her on the grounds that she was apparently 'no longer attractive'. This drove her into denial. No, she wasnt pretty. She had believed lies all these years. Her care for how she looked didnt fade, but grew more obsessive. Now instead of spending ten or fifteen minutes getting ready, she spent close to an hour. And that could've just been brushing her hair. She was overly conscious of what she ate and drank and what kind of clothes she wore.

And who noticed? Among her entire family, friends, the town and her fellow classmates of Chilton, who had noticed this dramatic change?

Nobody. So far.

A loud ringing sound rang through a small room in a medium sized house located in a small town. Rory Gilmore groaned and smacked her alarm clock to silence the annoying sound. She rolled over and then forced herself to get out of bed and into the shower. As she let the soap run down her body she took note to her appearance. She was still the same way she had been last week, when Dean had dumped her. Shaking her head, still not able to fully comprehend his reasoning, she stepped out of the shower and dried off.

After her uniform had been pulled on she stepped back into the bathroom. She still had forty-five minutes left before she even had to think about leaving. This was her new routine. She got up an hour earlier than she used to and got ready. Then, around her old time of waking, her mother would get up and start breakfast while she remained in the bathroom. Then with ten minutes left she'd eat one poptart and drink a mug of coffee, then she was off to her bus stop.

Now she stood before her mirror, gazing at her reflection, her eyes scanning her face. She had never bothered with make-up before, but was now giving it a try. She would apply a light layer of cover-up, just to conceal the blemishes on her face that werent there. Then, she would apply a little bit of black eyeliner, and then light blue or white eye shadow. It brought out her eyes, but made her face feel heavier. She hated the feeling, but she needed to perfect her already perfect appearance.

After running a fine toothed comb through her smooth hair numerous times she finally decided it was good enough to hide in a tight ponytail. She walked back into her room and grabbed her backpack, dragging it out with her to the kitchen where her mother sat, half asleep in a chair. Rory walked over to the table and grabbed her poptart and coffee and took it out to the porch. Sitting on the swing she looked out on the front lawn and just thought.

She had been being a lot more of a loner lately. She enjoyed being alone a lot more, giving her more time to think, which made her think of more ways she was unattractive or imperfect. This particular morning, her thoughts brought her to a test she had taken the other day. She got an A-. A minus. That wasnt an A. That was an A followed by a minus. That meant it was less than an A. It was less than perfect. Like she was. She was no longer good enough. Infact, she never had been.

That was now burned in her mind. She was not good enough for anyone, for anything. No matter how hard she tried she never would be good enough. Taking a side step out of 'new Rory' she heard the 'old Rory' voice curse Dean for destroying her, before 'old Rory' was thrown out like useless trash by 'new Rory'. Shaking her head yet again, trying to clear thoughts that would never leave, she took her empty mug back into the kitchen and set it in the sink.

"I'm gonna go Mom. I love you"

"Love you too hun" her mother said as Rory gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and then departed. She pulled her backpack over her shoulders as she walked. She sat down on the bench and set her backpack down next to her. She never noticed how she was being watched from afar.

This person noticed the small things. Her backpack was no longer stuffed to the seam, but just sagged on her back. She no longer had a book in her hands as she waited, and there was no music blasting into her ears. All she did when she sat was stared at the ground, probably thinking. She was so much more quiet now. And he knew why. Because that bastard had killed her inside. He had heard every hurtful word come from his mouth and reach her ears. He had watched her eyes fill to the brim with tears that she refused to let spill. He had watched the vulnerability seep into her weak protests and watched her soul wither through her eyes.

He had watched her slowly die away from the person she used to be.

He had watched. But he had said nothing.

He now watched her board her bus and slump into a seat away from everyone else. He watched her head slowly move to lean agains the glass of the window and her eyes slowly close.

_'She's probably tired from trying to perfect what is already perfect'_ he thought sadly.

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**AN: I know, kinda short, just a place to start. Please review and I'll have the next one out soon.**

**Sarah.**


	2. I take it to heart

**AN: Thank you to my TWO  reviewers. Yeah. Two. I was going to wait until I got at least five reviews or something. But nobody cared that much, I guess. So I decided to post again hoping maybe I'd actually get a response. This time, I'm not updating until 10 reviews. Exactly 10. If I get more, well then happy day. But remember, these reviews actually keep me motivated. You no review...I no post. Simple as that.**

**Anyway, enough of my complaining. Ignore that I'm just not in a good mood(no, not because of the lack of reviews). Forgive me.**

**I noticed I forgot something last time...**

**Disclaimer: Yes, I own the show. And I'm touring with My Chemical Romance. Oh, and I saw the Easter Bunny the other day too. He IS real. (p.s. if you didnt catch the heavy coat of sarcasm, Lord help you now)  
**

**Anyway...on with the story!  
**

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Rory got to school a little earlier than usual and went straight to her locker. After gathering the necessary materials for her class she quickly departed and made a bee line for the nearest girls bathroom. Setting her books down on the counter she began ripping the tie out of her hair before brushing it again and retying it, a little more loose this time. After giving herself a final glance through the mirror she exited the bathroom and went to her first class. 

Oh yeah she had new routines everywhere now. And they all involved her going to a mirror of some sort and checking herself repeatedly. In her eyes, everything about her appearence had to be perfect now. And that was what flawed it. Instead of her radiant natural beauty glowing through the halls of Chilton, an insecure face masked by fake confidence shone through covered in uneeded makeup to mask the hidden perfection beneath. She was walking through the halls now back towards her locker when her bare arm bumped into another students, a boy, who was obviously violating dress code with his blazer hanging from one finger and his sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

"Geez, watch it. Keep your furry little arms out of the way" he said jokingly, winking ever so slightly before continuing on his way. He was obviously joking with that comment, but when a blushing Rory looked down at her arms all she saw was tiny little brown hairs everywhere on her arm. Now, it was natural for every human being to have body hair on their arms, to Rory what had seemed so subtle and nonexistant was now obvious. Suddenly feeling extremely self-conscious, she scurried off to her locker and pulled out her blazer, quickly wrapping it around her body and pulling the sleeves down her arms as far as they would go. After she gathered her books again she continued off to her last class of the day.

When she arrived home she dropped her backpack off in her room and headed straight for the bathroom. After once again re-brushing and retying her hair she took off her blazer and took a good look at her arms. The hair was fine and not that noticeable. She ran a hand over her arm and instead of feeling the soft, barely fuzzy skin, she felt a furry mess. Her view and feel for herself was all distorted. She no longer saw what was really there or felt what was really there.

All because of _him_.

She reached into one of the small top drawers and pulled out a razor and some soap. She was all out of shaving cream and had been using soap on her legs and stuff. So why not on her arms. Before she knew what she was doing she had warm water over her left arm and was lathering up some soap on it. Once it was covered enough she brought the razor to her skin and began peeling away the hair. She could feel her skin cool as the air hit the bare, hairless patches. She also felt her arms begin to ache and parts of her skin tint pink. She hissed at the annoying pain but kept on despite it.

After that arm was done, or more like when she couldnt stand it anymore, she ran warm water up and down it again to wash away excess soap and hair that stuck. She felt her arm again, wincing at the pain, and noticed that she hadnt gotten it all, but it was close enough. After softly and carefully patting that arm dry she did the other arm and experienced the same thing.

Once both arms were shaved almost fully they began to sting and she couldnt stand it, let alone stop it. She grabbed a small hand towel and wrapped it around her left arm first, pulling it snug and clipping it as best she could with a hair clip around her arm. It felt a little more soothing and soon the pain had temporarily melted away. She then carefully unraveled the towel and wrapped it around the other arm.

It hurt like hell for her but at least now she was one more step to perfection. She sat on her bed and fell back to a lying position as she relished in the warm comfort her arm was recieving from the towel. When she felt it was ready she removed the towel and tossed it aside, feeling around her arms again. When she tried twisting one it felt stiff but she ignored that. She pulled on her favorite black sweater that was made of such soft material over her and went to work on the little homework she had.

A little while later she heard someone knocking on the door. She sprang up from her desk and bounced to the door, opening it with a smile until she saw the person on the other side. Then her smile faded.

"Hey Rory" the person said, nervously shoving their hands deeper into their pockets, if that was even possible. She leaned against the door frame and crossed her arms over her chest.

"What do you want?"

"Do you think we could talk?"

"Talk? You want to talk with me? And say what? How sorry you are for making me feel like trash?"

"Look Rory, I was wrong. I was so wrong to dump you like that"

"I dont want to hear it"

"Please Ror, just five minutes"

"Okay. Come on in" she reluctantly agreed and opened the door wider. The house felt a little warm so without thinking she pulled her sweater sleeves up a little and joined her unexpected guest on the couch. "Talk"

"I was wrong to say I wasnt attracted to you anymore"

"Why would you even think to say that to me?"

"I...dont really know"

"Bullshit, you do know"

"I--what's with your face?"

"Are you going to try and slide another comment by me? Seriously?"

"No there's...makeup. Ror, come one, you never wear makeup"

"People change. Am I not allowed to improve my appearance?"

"Rory, that's not you. You never wore more makeup than light blush and lip gloss. What's with all this? And you do not in anyway need to improve your appearence"

"According to you I do. Apparently I just wasnt pretty enough for you"

"That's not true I--"

"Then why did you say it?!"

"I..." Dean was at a loss of words when he noticed her arms. "Rory. What did you do to your arms?" he asked, attempting to reach out and touch one of them before she flinched away.

"Dont touch me. And...nothing happened"

"You're lying"

"So, I shaved them. Happy?"

"Why would you shave your arms?"

"They were getting too hairy"

"Rory. You are smart enough to know that every human has body hair, and even girls have it on their arms. Even if you do have a little much, more than you'd like, its not good to shave it off"

"Why not? We already shave our legs and underarms? Why not arms?"

"Look at your skin, for one. Its tinted pink from irritation and there are some little bumps"

"So? The hair's gone"

"Rory, you never had much hair on your arms anyway. What the hell is happening to you?"

"You destroyed her" a voice from behind them rang.

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**AN: Okay, tried to make it longish. Hope it was long enough. If not, well, suck it up. I only got 2 reviews anyway. Oh, and by the way, thats what happens when you shave your arms. Me and my friends are having a little sleepover and they dared me to shave my arms. Me, being stupid and blonde, and never one to turn down a good dare, accepted. Now I'm sitting here typing slowly with one of my arms wrapped in a hand towel while the other suffers. It hurts like hell. Dont ever do it unless you're looking for some good pain.**

**Anyway...want to actually REVIEW this time? If not, you'll have to wait a lot longer cuz I wont give in this time. 10 reviews on this chapter and then I'll update. deal? good.**

**Sarah.**


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